I do not understand tits. What is the matter with you people? Why wouldn’t you just lay an egg and be done with it?
And what’s the deal with milk? You just squirt milk now? How are you not disgusted with your species as a whole?
Call me old-fashioned, but I just don’t get it. And I don’t want to get it. Don’t try to make me. I will not listen to you. But go ahead and keep talking. Waste your time utterly. I checked out a long time ago.
You can’t convince me you’re not disgusting. I hate every human being I ever saw, and I’m sorry I ever married one.
I just want out. I hate her tits. They don’t make sense to me. And I really tried to get it, once upon a time. I want you to know I tried. I stared at those floppy jugs for as long as I could stomach, which was about thirty-five seconds. Did I feel anything? Only revulsion, and a little indignation that you would actually presume to consider yourselves the superior species.
And gentlemen, your flapping balls are also largely unnecessary, and your dicks are dumb. They look silly and you should feel silly for having them.
Everyone knows the perfect penis is a weirdly long corkscrew thingy with teeth on it.
I’m a duck.
Go to hell.