The line ahead of me seemed to stretch on forever, infinite bodies winding through a labyrinth of velvet ropes. Noisy children wiped the snot from their noses. Tired parents struggled with bags and boxes under the shadow of a great fake pine tree that reached all the way up to the third floor of the […]
THAT TIME I MET SANTA CLAUS Read More »
“Can I see your vaccination card?” It was my third dose. The booster. I fished the card from my busted up wallet. The card was crumpled and bent. “Keeping good care of it, I see,” the middle-aged Asian man said, real condescending like. I chuckled politely, like I thought it was a joke. But he
THAT TIME I GOT THE VACCINE Read More »
I was twelve years old, and the family had been summoned to the casa de Susan for that year’s Thanksgiving holiday bash. Everyone who was anyone would be there. Your favorite cousin Gilroy? He’d be there. Your least favorite uncle Ziggy? You bet he’d be there. And old Grandma Beatrice? Yep, she was going too.
THANKSGIVING AT AUNT SUSAN’S Read More »
I remember thinking, “Hey, queer! Get your queer hands off me!” But the doctor didn’t listen. He pulled me out the same. “Welcome to the world,” the doctor said. “Fuck off!” I said. I decided then and there that I was going to be a bad baby. “Hold on, I have to cut that pesky
THAT TIME I WAS A BABY Read More »
“What do you mean you’ve never heard of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?” I shouted at the stupid girl in the pet store. It was all I could do to keep from knocking her down and stepping on her. How could she not have known? “There were four of them! Mutants! Turtles! Christ, the whole
MAKE YOUR OWN NINJA TURTLE Read More »
